It has been one of the most joyful experiences to be apart of the Apex worship team. Ever since joining the team, I have experienced a renewed desire to dig deeper into what it means to genuinely worship "in spirit and in truth" (John 4:24)...Being on stage and leading in front of a lot of people shouldn't be the driving force of what causes you to take a deeper look at your life and the state of your heart...that desire to live a life of genuine worship should always be there whether you're on stage or not...but I have to admit that along with this new calling of musical leadership in my life, I have felt challenged in a good way to evaluate my life, my heart, my words, my actions, and ask the Lord to "search and know my heart...and see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24) And of course, when we ask God to show us the offensive areas in our life, it's not a surprise when he brings them to our attention pretty quickly which I have experienced. In my recent pursuit of the true meaning of worship, I've been reading "Worship Matters" by Bob Kauflin. It's simple but challenging when he says:
"It doesn't matter whether we're leading a congregation, driving our car, or sitting alone in our bedroom. Everything we do should be governed by one goal--to see Jesus Christ praised, exalted, magnified, lifted up and obeyed."
A.W. Tozer says basically the same thing in a different way...
"So I’ve got to tell you that if you do not worship God seven days a week, you do not worship Him on one day a week. There is no such thing known in heaven as Sunday worship unless it is accompanied by Monday worship and Tuesday worship and so on....We come into God’s house and say, “The Lord is in His holy temple, let us all kneel before Him.” Very nice. I think it’s nice to start a service that way once in a while. But when any of you men enter your office Monday morning at 9 o’clock, if you can’t walk into that office and say, “The Lord is in my office, let all the world be silent before Him,” then you are not worshiping the Lord on Sunday. If you can’t worship Him on Monday you didn’t worship Him on Sunday. If you don’t worship Him on Saturday you are not in very good shape to worship Him on Sunday."
I am challenged, humbled and made aware of how I all too often fall short of worshiping Him with every area of my life. The honor and privilege I've been given to lead worship at Apex has reminded me how worthy He is of my constant worship and adoration and how unworthy I am to represent Him...but it's his unrelenting grace that has allowed me to use one of my greatest loves, music, as one form of worship & ministry in my life.